Working mothers may feel as though maintaining balance is their entire existence. You wipe spit off your jacket as you make the lengthy journey from the daycare to your crucial presentation. You are balancing your schedule, your babysitter’s availability, and the academic calendars. While some days are uplifting and chock-full of pleasant surprises, others are tiring and demoralising.
It’s challenging to devote time to both your career and your children, but you’re the right woman for the job.
Where did I pick that up? when you are performing. You are responsible for taking care of your treasured children in addition to earning money. Since this is your season in life, you get to decide how you will react to the challenge.
Being a mother of three young children with a hard job and a variety of interests, I am familiar with what it’s like to feel overloaded with duties. After years of trying and failing, overcommitting, then feeling let down and resentful, I want to share some of the lessons I’ve learnt with you.
Work-life balance for mothers (Working Mothers)
Before we get tactical, I’d want to share with you my concept of life balance. In terms of life balance, it seems like we’re always lagging behind. We think the perfect work-life balance would be achieved if we could only work harder or manage our time more effectively.
The problem is that we don’t accurately define what a “life balance” is. Math is not the problem here. It entails not doing everything for the same amount of time, but rather doing the right things at the right time.
Being a mother and working are both “right things” at this point in your life. Despite your busy schedule, you may be confident because you are conscious of how you are spending your time.
Here are some methods you might employ to manage your life as a working mother in light of this.
Take into account the season you’re in.
It’s important to keep in mind that we go through different stages of life. What do I mean by “seasons” exactly? According to my definition, seasons are certain circumstances that demand our attention, effort, and time. Consider your current season while deciding what your priorities should be.
Whether you’ve been a working mother for more than 10 years or are just starting out again, be honest about where you are. Your kids go through their own seasons. It’s possible that they’re starting their first year of high school. Or perhaps one of your children has recently been diagnosed with a learning disability. It’s OK to assign certain jobs so that you may focus on what’s actually essential.
And if you’re going through a challenging moment, take my word for it; it won’t last forever. The four seasons vary. Keep being purposeful and present wherever you are at all times.
Be kind to yourself. (Working Mothers)
Mothers, in my observation, never allow themselves too much wiggle room. Indeed, I do regularly run into the exact opposite problem! We place excessive strain on ourselves. In actuality, we could occasionally be rather harsh. Would I speak to a friend the same way I speak to myself? Should you find it difficult to forgive yourself. Otherwise, cease using it. Avoid becoming your own toughest critic.
If You’re Married, Put Your Partner First.
Wife and mother roles are prioritised in that order. Many women place their children above their partners in order to balance the two. As life becomes busy and the kids take over, it’s easy to drift apart from your spouse and forget that you’re each other’s best friends and allies. Everything in your life will be better if you have a strong, healthy, happy, and connected marriage, including your career and your children.
You must schedule time for your spouse even if you might already feel extremely busy. Make a concession in order to schedule a regular dating night. Find quick and simple methods to communicate all day long.
Be Present Wherever You Are. (Working Mothers)
One of the consequences of mother guilt is that we never feel confident in our parenting skills. Even when we’re at home, we feel like we should be at work. Also, we regret not returning home from work. Unintentionally, we are contributing to our own misery. According to a Harvard study, the ability to be in the present moment is a powerful predictor of happiness. Tragically, 47% of the time, our minds wander.
Give yourself the go-ahead to keep your body and mind in the same place. You’ll exert more effort, pay closer attention, and actually enjoy life. Otherwise, your rushing thoughts and guilty feelings would distract you from the present and cause you to lose sight of your one precious existence.
Don’t attempt to handle everything.
You are only given so much money, time, and energy. You’ll have to decide how to spend them on a regular basis. Either you make decisions that are consistent with your top objectives or you try to do everything and fail. Because what you can accomplish and what other people will let you do are limited.
Thus, be conscious of your limitations. You may learn to prioritise your family and your job, the two things that matter most, by developing the guts to say no to many things. Don’t attempt to be a superwoman and make it to every show, game, and professional event. You don’t have to do it all. You really can’t. Inhale a sigh of relaxation as you release the guilt.
Schedule some downtime. (Working Mothers)
I’d guess that some working mothers need even more sleep than the seven to eight hours the average adult needs each night. Lack of sleep leads to a lot of physical and mental health problems. Make getting to bed a priority for you and your kids. After a few restful nights, everything appears lighter and brighter.
Give up your guilt as a mother.
It could be particularly challenging to face and overcome mum guilt. You feel horrible if a business retreat keeps you from your daughter’s dance recital. As a result of your child’s illness, you could feel guilty about leaving work early once more. Whether you do anything about it or not, you still feel awful about it.
And, let’s face it, social media is not at all helping. We adopt all kinds of foolish expectations and standards by comparing ourselves to everyone else. Society puts pressure on us to do it all—work, feed our family organically nutritious food, make sure our kids are dressed to please, and keep an eye on their academic progress.
The problem is that remorse won’t make you a better mother. As a result, you are anxious and stressed out. One of the underlying causes of guilt, in my opinion, is that we are unaware of what is most important to us. Not what is most important to our moms, sisters, or friends, but what is most important to ourselves. We have the impression that we’ve never really arrived since we’re always looking for some elusive existence.
If you struggle with a mild sense of guilt, I strongly urge you to read my most recent book, Take Back Your Time: The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance.
Working mothers included cannot complete everything by themselves. You are not weak if you ask for help; you are simply being human. Whether it’s relatives helping you with child care or team members supporting you with professional projects, find creative ways to delegate and lighten your load.
Here are a few more helpful recommendations:
- Visit a counselling office.
- Try grocery delivery services or internet shopping.
- See what your church or nearby centres have to offer in terms of resources.
- Employ a babysitter (or swap babysitting nights with friends if the budget is tight).
- Request help from your partner and kids with domestic chores.
Get up earlier than the kids.
Even though we just spoke about getting adequate sleep, this is really important. Even by just 15 minutes, get up earlier than the kids. Why? As a busy parent, this can be the only time you have to yourself during the day since having alone time is necessary for feeling balanced.
Also, rising before the kids enables you to begin the day as you. You don’t provide them with refreshments or transport them to basketball practise in the early morning. You have some quiet time to yourself to work out, have some coffee, or write in your diary. You may prepare for the rest of the day by taking some time to yourself in the morning to relax your mind and emotions.
Don’t pass up this opportunity.
Despite the appearance, this stage of being a working mother won’t last forever. Your kids will ultimately grow up and leave the house. Infants, Saturday pancakes, and violin lessons will all be distant memories. I beg you to cherish and enjoy these moments.
Life is not a never-ending to-do list, hamster wheel, or grind. God offers it to everyone of us as a gift. I want you to choose, even when it’s difficult, to look for the joy and the beauty in each day, whether it be at work or with your kids.
Check more of our content by clicking HERE.